BlubberBusters Tips from Lucy
How to Lose Weight
When Parents are Unsupportive and Siblings TeaseFrom jessika, Age 15 -hey ever1,im 5'1 and weigh 150 pound so im overweight for my height,and my life pretty much SUX my brother calles me fat everyday in front of his and my friends….
From Beanie, Age 11 - ….It is hard to lose weight since I can't be active 'cause my mother never lets me get out of the house! She only buys sweets and sodas all of the time because that's all her boyfriend will ever eat! I went to the doctors and the doctor would lecture me for about an hour about how serious I need to be with this. I am serious but I guess my mother isn't! Is there anyway I can do this under such strict conditions?
You want to lose weight, but your family and brothers or sisters are a different story. There are many ways in which parents and siblings can be UNHELPFUL when you want to lose weight. Do any of these sound like your situation?
Your Parents, Siblings, Grandparents, or extended Family…
Why Won't They Help?
Before looking at possible solutions, it may be helpful to understand why your family or siblings react so negatively. This doesn’t justify their actions, but it may help you better understand why they react the way they do. Some of their actions may be intentional, while others are not done consciously to hurt you.
Solutions for You
So maybe you can’t control the actions of your parents and siblings, but you can control your own. Here are several ideas for things you can do that may stop their attempts to sabotage (spoil, disrupt) your weight loss goals.
A healthy weight is important to you. Tell your parents and siblings that losing weight is important to you. You don’t have to ask them to agree with you and you don’t need to convince them of anything. You are just letting them know that reaching a healthy weight is important to you. Family and siblings who want you to be happy will respect your decision.
Don’t let them bring you down. If your family remains judgmental or critical of your decision to lose weight, don’t take the comments personally. Their statements and actions are usually based on their own feelings of insecurity. Most likely your family doesn’t fully understand the challenges you face with being overweight. Instead, focus on the positive that you know that you are doing something good for yourself.
Plan your responses to common sabotage tactics from family members. For example, if a family member is often tempting you with unhealthy food, have some responses planned in advance. They can be: “Thanks, but I just ate.” or “It looks delicious, but I will pass.” If they are persistent, you can say “I’m trying to do something good for myself. Please support me in this.”
Explore new activities. Meals are often considered an important activity that families do together. Try to find other ways you can spend pleasurable time with your family that don’t include food. Take walks, fly a kite at a park, work outside in the garden together, visit flea markets, or go to concerts or plays. These are a just a few ideas of activities that families can enjoy together.
Find support elsewhere. If your parents and siblings remain unsupportive of your efforts to lose weight after talking with them, then find support elsewhere. You may have friends who are at a healthy weight and would understand your desire to lose weight. They can serve as cheerleaders in your successes. You may have other friends who are also overweight and who, like you, might benefit from teaming up to lose weight by doing fun, non-food related, activities together. They can help keep you on track and serve as motivators when you slip-up. This website also offers an online support group through the bulletin boards (pre-teens, teens, and 18+), kid’s chat room, and Lucy chat. There is probably not a single person that can serve all your emotional needs in losing weight, but drawing upon the support from many, including your own internal strength, can help you immensely in achieving your weight loss goals.
Check out the Parents/Family section in the Kids Helping Kids area for more tips on how to deal with your parents and siblings while trying to lose weight. Below are some sample posts.Patrick, Age 11 - Instead of getting food for doing good things, ask your parents to give you an allowance instead.
JOHN, Age 15 - GOOD NEWS: MY 70 POUNDS 11YRS OLD BROTHER WHO IS VERY ATHLETIC IN LOTS OF SPORTS HAS OFFER TO HELP ME LOSE WEIGHT AND TO GET INTO SHAPE AND HE SAYS HE WILL CUT DOWN HIS TEASING ME ABOUT BEING FAT[I WISH HE WOULD STOP COMPLETELY]IF I KEEP UP WITH IT AND HE SAID HE IS GOING TO THE COOKOUT WITH ME TOMORROW TO MAKE SURE I DO NOT SLIP INTO MY OLD WAY WHEN I GET AROUND FOOD.
April, Age 14 - Aww Louise don't feel bad. my mother did at to me too. But since I am very strong-willed I todl her how much I hated it. It took a while for her to realize how hurt I really was. Just stand up for yourself and tell her how she is not helping you any by telling you how fat you are. Sometimes parents thin they are helping you by telling you you are overwight (as if you don't already know). Just explain yourself, that's all you can do. And if she doesn't care, show her how much you care by actually trying to lose weight FOR YOURSELF (not for her)
Ariel, Age 15 - Tell him how you feel. Ask him to stop teasing you. Then get into action. Start eating right, drinking more water, and exercising. Even if the teasing doesn't stop after you ask, your brother might quit when you start losing weight, having a better self-esteem, and having more energy than him!
Jay, Age 13 - Yea i have the same problem with my grandmom. When i visit her like every other week in the summer she always bakes the bests treats and she thinks im sick when i don't eat plus there are like 3 ice cream shops near her house so she takes me to get ice cream everyday too. but what i did was i told her that i was trying to lose a little weight and that i lovedher food but that it wasnt good for my diet and now she doesnt make as much sweets for me and when she does she doesnt force me to eat them. Good Luck
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