From Aneesha, Child's Age 10 - 01/03/21 - IP#: 72.253.79.xxx Click here to reply
Hello, my name is Aneesha and I’m worried about our twin sons, Jamar and Jamile. They’re 10 and turn 11 next month. 6 years ago, when my husband retired from the U.S.Army, we became foster parents for the boys and after 2 years we legally adopted them. Up until the summer of 2019 both boys were slender but then they started to get a little chunky . Last February before COVID they had their physicals and Jamar weighed 87 and Jamile weighed 88. They looked a little chubby but no problem since they’re a little on the tall side. Then the lockdown hit and their school has been online. I’m away at work all day, 5 sometimes 6 days a week. My husband has been “Mr. Mom” with the boys, supervising their schoolwork and other activities. All their youth sports have been cancelled and so we agreed to let them play video games as a break from schoolwork. The problem is they’ve both blown up since March. Both have big bellies and huge booties and moobs. We took them to buy clothes at Walmart yesterday since they’ve outgrown even their sweatpants. We ended up having to get size 18 husky jeans because of their booties and heavy legs. I was shocked in the fitting booth to see how fat they are. They even have rolls of fat on their backs! When we got home, I weighed them and Jamar is 173 and Jamile is 170. I took last week off from work and now I understand why my two babies are so fat. They eat all day. When they do their online lessons my husband rewards them with food, same thing when they do their chores. At meals they heap their plates and always take seconds. They get along well except when it comes to food, they argue over who’s going to get the last pork chop or who got the bigger piece of pie at dinner! An hour after a meal they’re both snacking. My husband and I got into an argument last night. He says I’m worrying too much and it’s just a phase the boys are going through, that when they hit puberty they’ll get taller and the weight will even out. Help! I only have sisters and my husband and I have a daughter (age 25) so I don’t know how it is for boys. Jamile and Jamar are my babies and I’m so worried about them.
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 12 - 01/23/21 - IP#: 174.239.4.xxx Sounds Like your husband and son-in-law don't think there's a problem and you and your daughter do I think a lot of men think "size" is good. It doesn't matter if it's muscle or fat. So, you all have a problem. More than a year ago we were referred to an obesity clinic for children because of how fat my sons had become. One of the things they suggested was to have the child draw a picture of himself so their body image could be determined. If the kid thinks he's fat, they might be more receptive to suggestions to eat more healthy and be more active. Just be careful not to make your sons feel ashamed of how they look.Good luck
Reply from Aneesha, Child's Age 10 - 01/21/21 - IP#: 72.253.79.xxx Monday because of the holiday my daughter and son-in-law Aaron came over. My husband and Aaron went golfing while the twins stayed home because they had school projects due. My daughter and I fixed lunch, sandwiches and soup. After eating their sandwiches (one each) and soup both boys complained they were still hungry. I finally let them make more sandwiches. Each had a total of three sandwiches, soup, ice cream, and fruit. The boys went back to work and my daughter and I were cooking and just talking the rest of the afternoon. Meanwhile Jamar and Jamile kept coming into the kitchen to get cookies and other snacks. When I told them we were going to eat at 6:00. so no snacks they each started whining that they were starving. Finally I confess I gave in and let them eat. Kiara (my daughter) then asked my why I let the boys eat so much. I told her my frustrations with my husband and she said she would talk to her husband and they’d come up with a strategy to talk with my husband about getting the boys to stop eating so much and lose weight. At dinner each of the boys ate as much as their dad and Aaron (who both have big appetites and took seconds). After dinner we were all in the living room and it was Jamar’s turn to clean the plates and put everything in the dishwasher. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and found Jamar eating the leftover dessert Kiara and Aaron were supposed to take home. I scolded him and he looked sheepish. He said he was sorry I told him he needed to apologize to his sister and Aaron. When he did, Aaron just laughed, Next day Aaron called me. He doesn’t think there’s a problem. According to him all boys go through a stage like this. Main thing is that my husband is so close to them. Aaron grew up in a family without a dad and told me he wishes he had a dad like my husband when he was a kid.
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 12 - 01/09/21 - IP#: 174.239.4.xxx Aneesha, I think you're right to be worried. My son started to gain weight four years ago. He went from slender to massively obese and now at age 12 weighs 275 pounds. He lost some weight last summer but has gained it all back and more. I wish I had intervened years ago when he was at the point your sons are at now. Instead, everyone thought he was chubby and "cute" so I just did nothing. My son doesn't have health problems yet but huffs and puffs after climbing a flight of stairs. I notice people looking at him when we go shopping. School is supposed to resume here in the spring after teachers get covid inoculations and I'm afraid he's going to be bullied. Please find a way to stop your husband from overfeeding your sons. Is there someone else who can talk to him and help him understand the problem?
Reply from Aneesha, Child's Age 10 - 01/08/21 - IP#: 72.253.79.xxx Corinne, after I read the your message last night I measured the boys’ height against the doorway with a yardstick. Each is a little over 57” tall. Last February they were 55”. So Jamar has gained 86 pounds and Jamile 82.
Reply from Corinne, Child's Age 13 - 01/07/21 - IP#: 108.34.204.xxx How tall are your children? Have they grown since they put on the weight? if so, how much???
Reply from Aneesha, Child's Age 10 - 01/06/21 - IP#: 72.253.79.xxx Jesse, the boys are identical twins. We can tell them apart because Jamar has a small birthmark on the side of his forehead. They don’t seem to be embarrassed by their weight at all. After I weighed them on Saturday, Jamar was bragging to Jamile that he weighs more than him! My husband was trim when he retired from the Army but since then has gained about 100 pounds. He does most of the cooking at home especially on days when I work. He cooks with the boys, using recipes to teach them math and science. Of course, when they bake a batch of cookies, they all three eat the cookies. I need advice. How do I convince my husband he’s harming our babies by encouraging them to eat so much?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 12 - 01/05/21 - IP#: 174.239.10.xxx Aneesha, it sounds like the problem is more with your husband than your sons. Is he heavy himself? Just wondering, are the boys identical twins? Are they self conscious or embarrassed about how big they are?