From Timothy, Child's Age 12 - 01/17/20 - IP#: 217.138.199.xxx  Click here to reply  
Hello,
I have to admit I feel a bit lost at my situation. My wife and I split up about two years ago. At first we were able to do regular visits then I had to move for work and now that I've moved back the change in my son is horrifying me. He has always been a chubby child, maybe on the fat side of chubby. Now though he is definitely fat. From everything I can tell his mother gives into his every food whim. He has tried tantrums on me and at first I tried to say no but they got so severe I ended up giving in. He's a 230 lb kid having a full blown tantrum. That's a little scary even for me as that's a full 70 lbs more than I weigh. I have been doing my best to only cook healthy meals. At first he wouldn't eat them but now he knows it's all he's getting. However, he has told me he hates coming to mine because I'm mean. I don't want to lose my son, I feel I've already lost so much time with him, but I also don't want to give into him.
He's told me that his Mom would start crying, and say things like, "Don't ever leave me like your Daddy did. I need you here with me forever, please?" Then HE would get upset and start crying, and then she would start apologizing and say "I didn't mean to make you cry," and then give him ice cream and chocolate and chips and whatever else his heart desires.
I just don't know what to do about the situation. No custody fighting isn't going to work. It was hard enough to get custody sharing and with how he feels about me right now for not feeding his overeating I doubt I would come out seeing him at all.
Reply from Janis, Child's Age 14 - 01/29/20  - IP#: 72.235.193.xxx
Timothy, I agree with the others. Your ex-wife sounds toxic and your son's well being is at risk. I think you should stop trying to talk with your son about his weight and eating. This will help him feel comfortable wit you. There is time enough in the future to work on your son's weight since he's only 12
 
Reply from Brett, Child's Age 13 - 01/21/20  - IP#: 181.214.40.xxx
I agree with Jesse. Forget his size for now and get your relationship back on solid ground. Once you have that and he can tell you're coming at this from a place of love maybe he will listen to you.
Side note: you seem pretty militant. Do you want to come and whip me and my family into shape?
 
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 11 - 01/18/20  - IP#: 174.239.7.xxx
Timothy, I think keeping your relationship with your son right now is the main thing rather than his weight. Are there things you can do with him or for him that will make him look forward to being with you even as you hold the line on his eating?
 
Reply from Dave, Child's Age 16 - 01/17/20  - IP#: 167.172.173.xxx
Wow. Your main issue here is definitely not you or your son's weight, but his mom. This is the exact story you see on TV of super obese, immobile people that live with a parent that caters to all their needs and feed them junk all day, and the parent deliberately fed them so much that they eventually became immobile, and that way, the parent will "never be left" by the son/daughter that is bed bound and needs to be treated like a baby.