From Lucille, Child's Age 17 - 10/02/18 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
Hi Janis, thank you for your response and sorry for the late reply! My sons have always been able to come to me whenever they needed assistance with something, so like you said I've decided to stop nagging them on their weights, but I do make it known that I am quite concerned about it. To be honest, I'm quite shocked at their eating habits. They both share a car and I know that they must be eating fast food on the daily, sometimes I have to drive their car unexpectadly and I will see Wendy's and McDonalds wrappers in the car (which is quite disgusting).
Benny is in his senior year of high school and will be attending university in the fall. I am concerned that things will get worse at university - one of his cousins went away to university this year (not too far - about 90 kilometers away) and I stopped by to see him a few days ago as I was doing some work in the region and I can tell he gained 10 pounds already!
One of my concerns is that these habits will transfer down to younger siblings, I have a son who is 15 and one who is 7. The 7 year old is very active (basketball, baseball, football, hockey etc.) but the 15 year old is not active (very into the music performance scene) and I can tell he is getting a bit bigger but he hasn't gotten his yearly physical yet.
Janis, how is your son doing? I hope he is adjusting well to the new school.
Reply from Janis, Child's Age 13 - 10/30/18  - IP#:
Hello Lucille, We just had to buy new school uniforms for Paul yesterday afternoon. Men's size 50 waist (!); they're a little loose around the waist but he needs the size because his hips and legs are so big. He takes a men's 2XL shirt. The salesperson at the uniform tore was surprised that Paul is only in 8th grade. Luckily, they carry sizes up to 54 waist and 4XL shirts because she told me, there are some big high school boys. That's no consolation when Paul is only 13 1/2. I got him on the scale this morning before breakfast and he weighs 280. He was totally unconcerned and I said nothing. He is active, meaning he swims 3 times a week and when I'm home he walks with me after dinner (I ask him to come with me because I don't want to walk alone for safety reasons---true, and we chat about school, etc.). We walk about a mile and a half, and as soon as Paul is home, he starts homework and snacking. There's a Winter Ball and his school in mid-December and he plans on going. He hasn't mentioned yet if he's asked a girl and I'm hinting but so far no answer from him.
Dave, I share your concerns about family. My brother, sis-in-law and nephew are my only close relatives except for my son. But my son's BMI according this site is more than 40, extremely obese. So far his health is good (his obese cousin's, also), and Paul's doctor tells me he should reach 6'4" or 6'5" and he will probably lose weight as he gets taller, but suppose he doesn't? After all, it was only 3 years ago that he was a slender 75 pounder.
Reply from Lucille, Child's Age 17 - 10/28/18  - IP#:
Hi everyone, hope y'all are well. Janis, thanks for responding. I'm sorry to hear that Paul has gotten larger on your business trip. I've been in a similar predicament as you, swamped with work during the week and away on business during the weekends. When you mentioned that Paul had gotten larger, I was thinking about my children and their sizes as I haven't seen them in ages (it feels) since I've been either away at work or stuck in the office late. Haven't noticed a change with Spencer or Benny but I saw Andrew shirtless this morning when I returned home and I was a bit shocked. Didn't say anything but a physical needs to be done soon because he is larger than I thought he was. It is fall theater production time so he has been especially busy with his studies and performance aspect, and I guess eating comes with studying now.
Wow, Luke is a large child. 400+ pounds will put a toll on anyone, let alone a teenager. I do understand the family situation aspect but I would look at leaving if things got worse with Paul's health because Luke for sure has an effect on him. How is Paul's physical activity? I assume this new private school has uniforms, he will probably realize it when the uniform stops fitting.
Reply from Dave, Child's Age 14 - 10/27/18  - IP#:
Hello! I do understand your frustration, but isn't it more important to keep good family relations and more than anything a good relation to your son, than to risk both because he is chubby? At least that is how I think..
Reply from Janis, Child's Age 13 - 10/26/18  - IP#:
Hello Lucille, I've been on a business trip and returned home after three weeks to find Paul 10 pounds heavier (I think, based on how tight his clothes are on him). His appetite is huge, and when I'm home I notice how much he eats. Multiple portions at meal times and continuous snacking while playing video games or watching netflix with his cousin, or even doing homework (always coming downstairs from his room for something to eat). I'm convinced he's trying to put on weight to copy his cousin Luke, who can't climb a flight of stairs now without stopping to catch his breath. I think Paul is still about 125 pounds lighter than Luke, and before he reaches the level Luke is at now, I'll take Paul and move out on our own, even though it will be a financial sacrifice and cause disruption in the family.
Reply from Lucille, Child's Age 17 - 10/02/18  - IP#:
Hi Janis! Glad all is well with you and Paul. I'm sorry about Paul and the football team, but it was probably for the best. I kept my foot down with my older sons and playing football as I was concerned about concussions (my nephew ended up being seriously injured playing football) but my youngest son loves the game and I'm not going to deny him what he loves but of course I am a nervous wreck seeing him on the field!
I know that physical education at my local catchement is not terribly good, it is mostly health based than physical activity based. Pretty much the only exercise my sons get are walking around the school and walking to and from their car which is horrible, but I can't force them to partake in any sports at this stage. I know they walked home (probably about 3 km) one day recently as I needed their car and they missed their bus and they looked dead exhausted upon arrival - probably the most activity they've gotten in months.
It's stellar that you got Paul to go and swim, even though you say he's quite slow. And it's excellent that the coaches want to make a inclusive environment for all children. I should convince my 15 year old Andrew to go and swim but he's wrapped up in his music studies haha. He's looking a little plump in comparison to the beginning of summer, should get him on the scale soon.
How are Paul's eating habits and general athleticism when not swimming?
Email me if you'd like at - I think we'll be in this situation for a while haha.
Reply from Janis, Child's Age 13 - 10/02/18  - IP#:
Hello Lucille, Thanks for replying and asking about Paul. He loves his new school! They have a character education program which all students take part in and Paul and some his classmates are discussing what their community service project will be. Paul got cut from the football team in August. The coach told me that Paul wasn't taking training seriously, meaning he was "goofing off". Paul had told me that practice was "too hard" and it was "too hot" to run and do physical exercises. I think Paul's weight made him too slow and uncomfortable. (I can't say I was disappointed, though, since I was worried about the danger of concussions for football players---they had Paul playing "center"). Since then, Paul has rejoined the Swim Club at the Boys and Girls Club in our town. He was part of it for years, going back to when he was thin, and only lost interest when he got the "football bug" a year ago.He has a lot of friends in the Swim Club and it's good exercise I know. His weight makes him very slow but the coaches want everybody to participate. I've been surprised to see the number of overweight boys and girls in the Swim Club, at least half the boys and one third of the girls. Paul is now a little over 5'9" and weighs 271 so I think he's a little bigger than your son Spencer. He's totally un-selfconscious about his size...the boys wear speedos to compete but it doesn't faze Paul. I guess I should be happy that he's not embarrassed, but I confess I'm waiting for the moment to come that will motivate Paul to control his appetite and try to lose some weight. Maybe when he's interested in girls? I notice there are some girls on the swim team who are very friendly with him but so far he hasn't mentioned anything to me about girls liking him or vice versa.
Reply from Lucille, Child's Age 17 - 10/02/18  - IP#:
Good Lord! Apologies, I thought I was replying!