From Heather, Child's Age 11 - 07/14/14 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
Hi I have an 11 year old son. He is 5'3" and 204 lbs. His highest weight was 211. He has been watching his weight like crazy so he can play a football game this year. He is already practicing with the team 2 hours a week and doing rec basketball. He just finished soccer season. His diet? He has recently cut out bread and that has helped his weight loss. He drinks lots of bottled water or homemade ice tea with lemon (no sugar). We don't keep many snacks in the house. I am diabetic, so everything here has turned to sugarfree and low carb. We have been cooking natural foods, mostly on the grill. Minimal packaged foods. When school is in session, I pack his lunches. He told me that the lunches are unhealthy at school. I agree. My concern is, he looks a little chubby, but he is a solid mass. Football requirements need him to be at 140lbs MAX to play with his team. I can see him loosing another 15-20, but I can't see another 65lbs!Even the coaches made him get on the scale twice. He doesn't look like 204lbs. Doctors say he is fine medically. Some say, he will outgrow it, other doctors bashed me and told me I was a bad mother. He keeps up with the other kids with no issues. I feel that we eat healthier than the average family and he is always on the move. Are these BMI charts ALWAYS right? Is it possible that he has a higher muscle mass? Is loosing another 65lbs unrealistic?
Reply from Jolene, Child's Age 13 - 08/03/14  - IP#:
Hello Heather, thanks for your suggestions. Unfortunately I've tried them and my husband insists that there's no problem with our son's weight and his appetite. (As of August 1, our adoption of John is legal and so I can truly call him "our son". My husband and I are so happy; we've been married 20 years and were childless until John came to us last year as a foster child. He had been neglected and abused by his birth mom, who is a cousin of my husband.)
My husband isn't very active but he's a big sports fan. He and John go to baseball games etc. but the only physical activity they do together is shoot baskets (my husband put up a basketball hoop in the driveway). Tony takes John with him on errands on weekends but that's not physical activity.
At mealtimes, John eats as much as my husband and in the evening while watching TV (usually sports), Tony loves to snack and John follows his lead.
My husband doesn't have a clue I think about how much John eats during the day. He drinks a half gallon of milk (at meals and with snacks) and most days goes through a loaf of bread (toast with butter and jam at breakfast, bread and butter at dinner, sandwiches at lunch and for snacks. John loves peanut butter sandwiches with jelly, sliced banana, raisins, crispy bacon. Last month when I was on vacation for a week I saw how much John eats during a day and it amazed me. We don't have much junk food in the house, when John makes a sandwich he spreads the butter on thick and the filling (like cheese or lunchmeat) must be half an inch thick, not just one or 2 slices), so I know each sandwich is packed with calories. When I cautioned John that if he was going to eat so much (say at 3:00 p.m.) that he'd spoil his dinner, his reply always was "I'm hungry mom" and then at dinner time my 13-year-old son is eating as much as my 40-tear-old husband. I used to wonder where John puts it all but now of course every time I look at John I can see where it goes.
I think he's a good looking boy but he has a big belly and is very big in the hips and legs.
John is only 5'1" and he desperately wants to get taller. He has dreams of playing in the NBA (when he doesn't want to be a firefighter or a business man like my husband). My husband keeps on saying that as John gets taller his height will catch up with his weight and he needs to eat a lot because of growing in his teen years.
John was very underweight and undernourished when he came to us in May 2013 and my husband says we should be happy he's eating a lot now and healthy and happy. I just don't want John's eating to go extreme. He has a good friend who is also 13 but weighs 300 pounds and massively obese and I don't want that for John.
Heather, how are things going for your son? Sorry to write so much about my boy but it helps to talk to a mom like you who knows what I'm going through. Thanks, Jolene
Reply from Heather, Child's Age 11 - 07/29/14  - IP#:
Hi Again! Very valid point, didn't think of it that way. My son went for his 6th grade shots and sports physical and I spoke to his regular doctor about it. I asked him, 'What weight should be a goal weight?' His reply was 'He needs to loose some weight, just don't exceed more than 2 pounds a week. Take it from there and we will see how he grows.' I don't think he knew what his weight 'should be' either. At least, he is not bashing me at all. I talked to a guy recently and he lost over 300lbs. He is now skinny as heck. He said his inspiration was an very fit elderly man who's advice was 'Just keep moving'. Is your husband active? Maybe he can get your son outside for hikes or something that would just keep him moving. It might be a good idea even to have one of his friends come along. It's hard to do things alone. When you have someone there with you, it makes it so much easier. I am heavy, always been. I never had anyone there and the teen years were the hardest. I ate because it comforted me. We had no 'good foods' in the house and my mother ordered take out a lot. It's hard to get out of that pattern. Some do grow out of it, many don't. I think this is why I really watch my son's weight. I don't want him to have the life I had. Do you think you can try to slowly swap out snacks and foods in the house for better choices? Or will your husband notice? Would he go to your son's next check up? It might help if he heard it from someone else. I think your son seems fine, but gaining so much weight in a short amount of time is concerning. There must be a reason why he is eating.
Reply from Jolene, Child's Age 13 - 07/22/14  - IP#:
A lot of doctors could use lessons in tact and diplomacy. I think that if your son's height is at the 97th percentile for his age, it stands to reason that his weight should be at the 87th percentile too. Just to give you an example, my son's height is at the 49th percentile for his age but his weight is at the 96th percentile. You can tell he's obviously way too heavy for his height. My problem is that my husband and the rest of the family don't think my son has a problem so constantly allow him to eat what he wants, when he wants. I wish I could put you in touch with my husband, Heather! You're so obviously a concerned parent, he might listen to you. My husband thinks he's helping my son by making excuses like "it's just a phase he's going through" and "he'll get taller soon and his height will catch up to his weight".(My son is 5'1" at age 13, currently weighs 150, and has gained 18 pounds so far this summer.)
Reply from Heather, Child's Age 11 - 07/22/14  - IP#:
Hi, thank you! He doesn't like wrestling at all. It's too bad. I did talk to him and explained that his size does not mean he is a bad player. He understands that if he can't play a game it's ok. He will be training with them for the next few years until high school. I did take him to a specialist for some stomach issues a few weeks ago. The doctor actually yelled at me in front of my son. He blamed me for my son's weight just because he drinks 1% milk. Needless to say, I walked out and never went back. I am not sure how to determine what is a good weight for him. I wish they had better calculators since no person is the same. For now, I will continue with what we are doing. Thank you for your support :-)
Reply from Jolene, Child's Age 13 - 07/15/14  - IP#:
The height/weight/BMI calculator on this site says: "Note: If you are very muscular this calculator is not accurate." I think your son is very tall and husky for his age. It sounds like you're an excellent mom! I personally don't think three's any way your son could lose 60+ pounds for football and be healthy. Does your town have a youth wrestling program where weight isn't an issue (bigger kids wrestle bigger kids and small kids wrestle small kids)?