From Olivia, Child's Age 8 - 06/10/04 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
My 8-year-old stepdaughter is 4 feet tall and 125 pounds. This is a 3 pound weight gain in the two weeks since she was last with us - we have visitation every other weekend. While with us, I watch her food intake very carefully...even her 11-year-old brother tells her to stop shoving in her face. Her Dad (my husband) is completely embarrased to be seen in public with her. Bathing suit shopping is a difficult enough experience for most of us - we ended up getting a ladies size large tank suit for her. What concerns me is 1) the bio-mom doesn't think her daughter has a problem 2) both bio-mom and bio-dad are diabeticand 3) no one at school or church wants to step in and make a report of medical neglect. HELP!
Reply from Winona, Child's Age 17 - 07/19/04  - IP#:
Don't worry, even if you were a food and weight nazi, it would be better to be strict and have a healthier girl. Either way, you do want what's best for her. Sometimes that's more important than feelings, though I never think anyone should be called names. Good luck!

Reply from Olivia, Child's Age 8 - 06/23/04  - IP#:
You make it seem like I'm the food and weight Nazi and I can assure yo I'm not. Weekly weigh-ins are part of the routine in our's easier to lose 2 pounds than 20. As far as what you're calling a "restricted diet," it's a healthy diet - no processed junk food just things like whole grain bread, fruits, vegetables, lean meats and fish. Yes, her brother has been told to watch what he says...Dad loves her dearly and NO, we do not talk about her weight in front of her. Because of custody, my husband is not allowed to take her to the pediatrician. We have talked to an attorney this week who suggested we file a court order for a complete health and physical exam, include bloodwork and an endocrine work-up.

Reply from Tammi, Child's Age 10 - 06/22/04  - IP#:
What a great weekend she must be having at your home? Let's see there's weigh-in, restricted diet, a dad embarrassed to be seen with you in public, and an 11 yr old brother commenting on your eating habits. From what i've read i assume you also discuss everything that the bio mom doesn't do right in front of her too. Wow, what a boost to an 8 yr olds self esteem! Have you or your husband contacted the pediatrican? Medical neglect goes both ways you know. I hope that you remember to mention to the pediatrician that her father is embarrassed to be seen in public with his overweight 8 year old daughter! I am sure that the peditrician will find that very interesting. And no neither myself or my child are overweight but i do have a niece that is overweight and we love her dearly. She is now eating correctly thanks to the help of her pediatrician!

Reply from Winona, Child's Age 17 - 06/17/04  - IP#:
Yes, I was like that too, mostly because I had (and still do) different interests from others, and not the best social skills. It sounds like you should be the one with custody, though. Whoever does is not doing her right by not watching her weight. At this age, it can be corrected just by the guardian controlling what she eats. In 5-10 years that will be much harder. Best wishes.

Reply from Olivia, Child's Age 8 - 06/14/04  - IP#:
Winona and Jennifer = you're absolutely right, she does need friends. When she is with us for visitation, there are plenty of kids she plays with in our neighborhood. However, when she is at bio-mom's (99%), she doesn't pklay with fact she and her 12-year-old brother aren't allowed to answer the phone. My daughter, who is 15 now, used the phone regularly at 8 and 12 to talk with friends and set up things to do.

Reply from Winona, Child's Age 17 - 06/11/04  - IP#:
Jennifer that sounds like a great idea. Maybe if she had people she new were by her even when others teased she wouldn't need to eat as much.

Reply from Jennifer, Child's Age 12 - 06/11/04  - IP#:
sounds like she could use a friend....tell her to e-mail me @ and play fun games w/ her take her miniature golfing hope this helped

Reply from Winona, Child's Age 17 - 06/11/04  - IP#:
Maybe you should give a report. It's child abuse and the start of a serious lifelong problem.