I've been overweight since about grade 3... Oh who am I kidding, since kindergarten. I didn't realize how horrible tight clothes looked on me until grade 5. I was always wearing skin tight clothes which is totally not good for an overweight girl. I'm 5'4, turning 12 in september and now going into grade seven weighing a rusty 182 lbs. It's awful. Everyday I check the scale terrified of getting to 200 lbs. My mom tries to be supportive but she gets frustrated with me and I just keep ending up in tears. For a few weeks I became very irritable, crying myself to sleep every night, keeping a distance from every human being in sight, staying in my room thinking about how I hated myself. I almost debated starving myself or self harming but then I came to my senses. As much as it hurts me when I try to lose weight then give up and feel worse, Not doing anything isn't an option. I have to try something to be active during the summer. I do like sports but nothings available. The worst part of the depressed depressed feeling I get sometimes is the guilt and anxiety. I'd get this burning feeling in my stomach (like the feeling of doing something horribly wrong and then someone finds out and confronts you) but I didn't do anything. The anxiety part was basically just having the feeling of a sort of negative energy in every room you'd walk in but realize that it was just you. Being overweight doesn't just affect my physical health, as it affects my mental health too. So for all of you who feel helpless, worthless, self conscious, un confident, or a failure you are not alone.
Love, Peace and Luck

Holly <3

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