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From Louise, Age 15

Ht. 5'2", Today: 154 lb - Hi, my name is Louise. I'm 5'2 and about 154 pounds. I've been overweight since I was about 8. It is making me so unhappy! The worst thing is the comments that people make especially my mum. She calls me names and teases me about my weight all the time. It hurts so much and its like I'm always waiting for the next critisism. Like today when she dropped me and two friends off at school she said that in future I should walk cos I'm getting too fat. Last weekend she was shouting at me for not helping enough in the house and she called me a "big fat thing". She is always telling people I am fat in front of me and she calls me dumpy. My dad tells me I have no personality and no sense of humor. I feel so self consious at school and I hate PE (getting changed). I only have a few friends. I think my mum hates me. I have never felt close to her. We are very different in every way (including looks) as I am adopted. She is dark and has always been skinny although she has gained weight lately. I have always been blonde and chubbier. She keeps telling me that she always thought I would be tall and slim but instead I am short and fat. When I buy new clothes she says that everything I pick out is only for slim people. Its like she never stops. I can't remember anyone ever saying anything good about me and I feel like such a failure and a dissappointment. I know it looks like I am feeling sorry for myself but it is how I feel. Like there is no hope. I feel totally alone. Most days I wish I was dead.