From Lucas, Child's Age 16 - 03/13/24 - IP#: 208.37.145.xxx Click here to reply
Hey all, looking for some advice here. My son Charlie is 16, and he is currently 5'10 and between 235-240 pounds. In June during his annual check up, he was 5'9 and 165 pounds. I was somewhat shocked that he put on 70 pounds in less than a year. I knew that he had put on some weight, but I was thinking more so in the realm of 15-20 pounds. Charlie almost always wore a hoodie and sweats this winter, and I guess this masked the weight gain. Doesn't help that not much of the weight went to his face. He turned sixteen last June and got a job working at a fast food place during the summer and part time during the school year, which I think has contributed greatly to his weight gain. Now since I'm looking back and thinking about it, he's always eating something. If he's watching TV or doing work, or playing games with his friends, there's always a soda or chips or cookies surrounding him. I've noticed the occasional Wendy's or McDonald's bag in the garage trash bin, and his door dash/uber eats orders when I'm working late and have not cooked (maybe once every two weeks) have been progressively larger. I'm not exactly sure how to handle this with him. He's sixteen and likes his own independence, and I try to give him as much independence as a sixteen year old could have. I could, and likely will, ban snacking in the house, but I have to work during the day and I can't control what he eats when I am not home. Thankfully my cooking is relatively healthy, I was a chef in a previous life, and I try to cook flavorful and nutritious meals. He also does not appear to be in terrible shape. While I do hear heavy breathing during workouts or stairs and he is slower than in the past, he doesn't shy away from playing sports or weightlifting with his friends, or going for walks and bike rides with me. Since it's been getting warmer, we've been bike riding more, and I am noticing that the extra weight is slowing him down more so than before. I'm unsure what to do, and advice is appreciated! Thanks y'all.
Reply from Thomas, Child's Age 13 - 05/04/24 - IP#: 104.28.64.xxx That's exactly how it is. As long as you're happy, everything is fine. My boy also has a normal social life, so everything is fine. How much does Hannah weigh, if you don't mind me asking?
Reply from Hannah, Child's Age 16 - 04/25/24 - IP#: 174.212.162.xxx I agree with Thomas and Eric. As long as Charlie is happy, that's the most important thing. You can't force a teenager to do anything. But you can push them away. Growing up, my Mom pushed her crappy views and weight beliefs on me. As long as Charlie is happy. Go with that. Hannah works... Makes good grades... Has friends and is happy. She's also very big. And she's ok with that...and so am I.
Reply from Thomas, Child's Age 12 - 04/16/24 - IP#: 104.28.64.xxx You have valid points. If it works for your family and your son, that's good. I can't speak for everyone here but I think they will agree with me. I can only use my son as an example. He is content with his weight. Many of his friends look like him too. They are huge but happy. They even celebrate their weight in a certain way. As long as they are mentally healthy, everything is fine
Reply from Lucas, Child's Age 16 - 04/05/24 - IP#: 191.101.174.xxx Hi all, thank you for your advice, though I do have fundamental disagreements. 5'9 and 240 pounds is morbid obesity, and morbid obesity increases the risk of health issues. The weight is not "more or less okay," it's quite a bit of weight and is very unhealthy. This is not a 10-15 pounds overweight type deal, he needs to lose at least 40-50 pounds. It is honestly somewhat concerning how large the children appear to be on this forum, and the nonchalant attitude that many have towards their children's weight. The human body isn't designed to carry upwards of three hundred pounds, and especially not as an adolescent. And before people come for me, I used to be an RN who often dealt with three and four hundred pound people suffering from health issues, and served as a military medic. In order to nip this in the bud, we are embarking on a health journey focused on improving our health and eating better, not focused on weight. We have been exercising more as a family, and Charlie has been more active with his friends. We are focusing on eating less processed foods, and cooking more. Our relationship has been strong and has gotten stronger during this time, and he appears to be losing some of the excess weight, which is great. As a small tidbit of advice, many of you all on this forum shouldn't be complacent with your children's morbid obesity. You will not fat shame your child or ruin a relationship if you work together towards healthy living. YOU are the parent. YOU are responsible for your child's health at this point. And I'm not saying that everyone needs to be a stick figure, but a child should not be over three hundred pounds. No one should be eating fast food every day. Please work with your children to achieve a healthier lifestyle, because the attitudes in this forum are genuinely concerning. Even if your child doesn't have diabetes, or high blood pressure, or other ailments, it is only a matter of time before the ailments start to roll in.
Reply from Thomas, Child's Age 12 - 04/04/24 - IP#: 104.28.64.xxx I can only agree with that. I don't think you can really influence a teenager at that age. As long as he's happy and healthy, I wouldn't bother him. You should maintain a good relationship with him, that's the most important thing. And besides, he doesn't weigh that much. The weight is still more or less okay
Reply from Eric, Child's Age 14 - 03/24/24 - IP#: 89.8.225.xxx Hey! I would not worry too much, really, as long as he is happy and healthy. Just encourage healthy eating and physical activity, and it should be all good. You can't force a 16 year old into eating restrictions either.
