From Eric, Child's Age 13 - 07/22/22 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
Hi guys, recently (3 months ago) single dad here. Father of two, they live with me. I have to admit to being a pretty bad role model, as I am no exercise or sports guy except for random walks, and cooking and baking is a hobby of mine, and I am on the bigger side myself. My boys are not skinny, not fat, but on the chubbier side. After breaking up, they live most of the time with me alone, and that has resulted in weight gain, definitely. I am torn between wanting to do something about it or just being ok with it for now, because they are not that big. I also don't really know what or how to do it. Any inputs?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 13 - 07/27/22  - IP#:
During last school year my son wasn't very active, becausr his size put him over the weight limit for youth football and middle school wrestling and he doesn't like running so soccer was out. He was manager of the middle school basketball team but that was sedentary. I got us a family membership at the Y because of the pool. Lane's not self conscious about his appearance which is good because when I was a fat young teen I'd never take my tee shirt off when swimming.i'm 5'7 and hopefully Lane will grow to be 5'9" or so. Before school ended in spring the H.S. football coach contacted me about wanting my son to play 9th grade football in the fall. Right now I don't think I want him to play because of concussion dander and from what is see of high school football in our town the bigger boys are only encouraged to get bigger.I notice my son is about 40 pounds heavier then your boy.
Reply from Eric, Child's Age 13 - 07/26/22  - IP#:
Yeah, I work part from home and part from office now after covid (engineer), so I also usually have plenty of time, as I can work when I want as long as I get things done. We don't eat out very often either, but I know my oldest son every now and then gets something after school or when hanging out with friends. Dropping by for a fast food snack happens more often, definitely. Ordering pizza has become a friday "tradition" for us a few years ago. When I prepare food, I always make salad and I use a lot of vegetables when cooking in general. Definitely agree with you on the milk, skim milk is like water, so whole milk is the one that tastes good. My oldest is relatively tall at around 5'4 and will probably get quite a bit taller, as I am 6'3 myself, so definitely not a small guy. After reading your answer, I wanted to weigh myself and the boys, so we did. I am 369 lbs while the 13 year old was 272 lbs and the 9 year old 112 lbs. I don't know how it was half a year ago, but I know they both have gotten chubbier. Does your son normally have active or sedentary days throughout the schoolyear?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 13 - 07/25/22  - IP#:
I cook at home. I'm lucky because I'm an accountant who works from home so as long as I get the work done I have time for meal prep. We eat out at a restaurant maybe once a month (which doesn't include stopping for a fast food snack, but I don't consider that a meal. We have pizza delivered once a week or so but I always have a salad and a veg with the pizza. I know Lane and my nephew stop for fast food after work but that doesn't affect his appetite for dinner. Lane grew 5 inches taller and his voice has changed. The doctor said his appetite would ease off after puberty but that hasn't happened. He does have his likes and dislikes. I tried to have us drink skim milk but he says it tastes like water so it's back to whole milk for us. I'd rather have him drink milk than soda anyway. Lane can outeat me but I guess that's part of being a teenager. Do you know how much your sons weigh? I was just wondering if Lane and your oldest are similar.
Reply from Eric, Child's Age 13 - 07/25/22  - IP#:
Hi again! Sounds like we are a lot in the same boat. My boys are also quite active in their everyday despite not doing any sports. We live in a rural area and they use their bikes to go places that are not too far, and in general at least the summer is pretty active. The winter is a different case, at it's too cold to be much outside. Anyway, you and I are probably about the same weight, and while I haven't weighed my boys, it seems like they are a bit smaller, but not a lot. Health-wise we are all good except weight. I try to cook healthy, but of course desserts and serving sizes are not helping. Do your cook at home or eat out mostly? I don't want my boys to feel guilty when eating their food.. They have never complained about being on the bigger side either, it has just never been a "thing" to talk about.
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 13 - 07/25/22  - IP#:
Well Eric, my son Lane is 13, going to be 14 in October and is 5'5" tall and weighs 317 lbs, which sounds a lot I know. He's an active kid and this summer has been doing yard work for people with my nephew (Lane gets paid under the table). He likes swimming too. I'm 352 pounds myself. Every time Lane goes for a checkup the pediatrician warns me about his size but his lab work is always OK and heis active so I don't see a reason to deprive him. But that's just us. You have to do what you think is best for you and your kids.
Reply from Eric, Child's Age 13 - 07/24/22  - IP#:
Thanks for your reply! Yeah, I have been obese more or less all my life. The boys have always been chubby. Like I said I am not the best role model, as I love to eat and snack, and while I love going for walks, I am not very sporty. Good food, cooking and baking is definitely one thing we all do together, and I don't want to ruin that or make the boys feel guilty for enjoying this. They are healthy and doing all well. So your son is chubby too? I feel like the best approach is to enjoy things just the way we have done so far, just be aware so it won't be too much. How has your experience been?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 13 - 07/24/22  - IP#:
Eric, it doesn't sound to me like there's a problem with your two boys but that's my perspective. I'm a single dad too (wife passed away six years ago. My son Lane was slender until he he 6 or 7 (age 13 now) but then started to put on weight. I'm obese (have been since I was a young teen) and cooking and baking together is something we both like. The main thing to me is that you have a good relationship with your boys. If food ia part of that and the Doctor doesn't specifically saw the kids are having a health problem because of their weight, I think you shouldn't worry.
Reply from Eric, Child's Age 13 - 07/24/22  - IP#:
They have always been chubby, but since living with me, they have gotten bigger. Too little portion control, too much cooking and baking. It is something we all enjoy together a lot, so a good way of bonding. They have always been for the physicals overweight/obese, but no problems reported except for that, so we never did much about it. They are age 9 and 13 this year.
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 13 - 07/24/22  - IP#:
Have your sons gotten chubbier since living with you or were they always chubby? It's getting time for school physicals...see if their pediatrician says anything about their weight.