From Miles, Child's Age 16 - 12/31/21 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
Hey everyone, happy early new year. My son Miles recently went to the doctors office for a year end physical, and he weighed in at 378 pounds at 6’1. Miles has always been a big kid, but I didn’t anticipate him being this big. He’s never brought any attention to me about his weight, but I’ve noticed that simple things like stairs or bending to tie his shoes often gets him out of breath, and it’s very hard for him to find clothes that fit his growing size.
This is bad, but we’ve neglected to go to the doctor during covid for health reasons, and his last physical was at 14 right before the pandemic. He was big then, about 5’7 and 220 pounds. Gaining nearly a hundred and sixty pounds in two years brought alarm to his pediatrician, but not much was said.
Miles’s appetite is humongous, but I never wanted to have him feel hungry or develop some kind of food insecurity so I always had food available. Admittedly, often times that would be fast food due to the convenience of it, and to satisfy his hunger. I always gave him some money to get a snack after school, but this snack has turned into a full blown fast food meal every day after school unfortunately. This is also bad, but I usually bring home fast food twice a week for dinner when I work late, it’s hard being a single working parent and cooking every night.
I realize that Miles’s weight is an issue, but I’m unsure on how to exactly address this with him. I’m a guidance counselor and psychologist by trade, and I know that approaching this the wrong way could have a detrimental effect on his wellbeing. The ideal thing would be to let him bring this to me, but it’s difficult to sit back and watch him get fatter. Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 13 - 02/18/22  - IP#:
I feel the same way about my son Lane as you do about yours, Miles. He's 13, 5'5" and 360 pounds. It's been tough, his mom died, then right before covid his brother (my older son) died. Then came covid and online school. I'm worried that if I try to limit what he eats he'll develop an eating disorder.
Reply from Malcolm - 02/14/22  - IP#:
I studied psychology and understand that it's hard for you with the situation going on. Don't feel bad that you never took him to get his check up because it's completely understandable with the whole pandemic going on. They say that people who are overweight and who suffer from health problems or who are elderly are at much higher risk so I don't blame you. Best way to bring it up is to ask his opinion on it. Ask him how he feels himself about his body and whatnot. Try to see what he's going through. It is not easy being a single parent and there is nothing wrong with getting fast food as long as you're getting healthy alternatives in fast food. Maybe you stop giving him money for snacks and only feed him breakfast lunch and dinner. And if he does start feeling very hungry throughout the day you could give him a snack like popcorn. Something that he can snack on and that doesn't have many calories. It's not easy having to work by yourself with trying to support a child and also trying to do good at your job so don't feel bad about not having much control. Because it's something that you can't control. He is above average in height which is fine and he does seem a little bit overweight but again just try to talk to him about his opinions maybe he can help create a diet plan for the day. Make a plan that he has to tell you what he wants exactly for his meals and let him know that he can't have anything more than what he listed for that day.