From Jesse, Child's Age 11 - 09/29/20 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
Parents, I just want to share my experience as
a dad, A year ago this weekend my son Leo passed away. He was 12 and a half and in 7th grade. He had been a slender little boy, then gained a lot of weight and was 225 pounds at age 12. During the summer of 2019, he was involved in a science explorers program at his school, and he grew about 2 inches taller and lost 20 pounds without trying. A year ago today he woke up feeling sick to his stomach and didn't eat. He threw up the soup I gave him for lunch and I took him to the pediatrician that afternoon (luckily I got an appointment).
The pediatrician examined him and told me Leo probably had a mild gastroenteritis and said with a big grin on his face "he's probably just been eating too much cookies and candy". I didn't say anthing. The doctor said it would pass in a few days. Two days later, Leo was still sick and I called the doctor that morning and he said to give it a couple more days and it work "work it's way out of his system ". That afternoon, Leo looked terrible so I took him to the ER The doctors there did tests, then told me Leo had appendicitis and he would need immediate surgery. His appendix burst as he was being anesthetized and he died the next day from blood poisoning (sepsis).
I want to share my experience with you because childhood appendicitis doesn't always show classic symptoms (pain on lower right side). The pediatrician didn't order lab tests that would have shown Leo had a serious infection. The worse part was that he just dismissed my boy because of his size. "He's probably just been eating too much cookies and candy."----i'll never forget that. I beat myself up every day because at that point I should have taken my son and demanded to see another pediatrician.
Reply from Seongwha, Child's Age 18 - 10/06/20  - IP#:
What kind of exercise do Lane do with his cousins? Two of my sons like weight lifting as well but with Jeongguk (the one that's overweight) I try to encourage more cardio. Does Lane seem to spend alot of time with his cousins when you're at work?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 11 - 10/05/20  - IP#:
Seongwha, after Leo passed I brought Lane for counseling with a child psychologist. After about five sessions,  she advised that Lane was "unengaged" and just sat and cried and wouldn't talk. Up to the time schools here clossed from covid19 in March, he was doing well in school and we had his 3 best friends over every other weekend. Then came covid19 and that all ended. Like I said, Lane's garden project this summer was a big help. My two nephews, age 16 and 19, are both heavy (300 and 250)  and so I have my fingers crossed as we go into cold weather. (Lane and I share a duplex with my cousin and her two sons.) I come home from work and find pizza boxes in the garbage . On the other hand, they both are into weight lifting and Lane exercises with them. It's hard for him because of his heavy build but Mario and Louis encourage him and as long as i can keep him from the temptation of snacking all the time, I'm optimistic Lane's weight will stay around 250 as he gets taller and his BMI will drop. BTW, Lane did have a happy birthday. Thanks for asking!
Reply from Seongwha, Child's Age 18 - 10/04/20  - IP#:
That's good that he is losing weight and started to garden, you should be so proud of him. I hope he had a nice birth day too. Has he every seen a therapist? If not have you considered that?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 11 - 10/02/20  - IP#:
Justin,, Seongwha, and everyone: my 2nd son Lane is doing well. It's hard right now for him with online school (he misses his friends) but that's true for most kids. In July, he was 260 pounds but this morning he weighed  245. Last May,, we put in a big vegetable garden in the back yard and it was Lane's project. He's still a big boy (5'1") but he did 90% of the digging, planting, hoeing, weeding, and watering.. He chose what he grew: Jersey tomatoes, bell peppers (all colors),  beans, radishes, onions, lettuce, plus flowers. We've been harvesting it and even gave some to the local food bank. Lane still has a big appetite but he's started puberty so is getting taller and loves eating the veggies he's grown. He turns 12 tomorrow and we (my cousin, her 2 sons---15 and 19) are having pizza and ice cream and cake but a big salad, too. Lane does all the prep of the veggies (my cousin and I've showed him how).
We just got home from going to the cemetery to put some mums from Lane's garden on the graves of Leo and my wife. Lane seemed to handle it well. My cousin tells me I do a good job of hiding my true feelings from Lane. I see a psychologist weekly (online) and take anti-depressants  If it wasn't for Lane, I wouldn't be here. I can't bear the thought of leaving Lane all alone (even though we have loving relatives), but i miss my wife and Leo so much. Sorry to be so long, but thanks to all of you all for your kind thoughts.
Reply from Justin, Child's Age 17 - 09/30/20  - IP#:
Hi Jesse, I would like to express my condolences for the death of your son. I know how it feels to have a child go on to a better place, and it’s not a feeling I wish on anyone. Please don’t beat yourself up. We don’t know what the future holds, and it’s not healthy to do “what if’s”. We don’t know what would have happened if we did other scenarios, we just know the certainty of this one, and it’s something that we need to deal with.
It’s sad that he was dismissed because of his size, so many people are not taken seriously by medical professionals. How are you and Lane doing? Have you all taken steps to be healthier?
Reply from Jesse, Child's Age 11 - 09/29/20  - IP#:
Thank you for your kind words, Seongwha. They mean a lot to me.
Reply from Seongwha, Child's Age 18 - 09/29/20  - IP#:
It is heartbreaking that his doctor overlook him because of his size that cost his life. It is a terrible flaw in the medical system that doctors don't spend enough time on patients, I am very sorry that your son was failed by this. In korean we say 제 어떤 말도 위로가 됄 수 있을지 모르겠네요. 힘내세요. means I do not know what I can say can be comfort to you, be strong. I hope that even in the small community from this site can offer you some comfort.