From Bill, Child's Age 19 - 05/21/20 - IP#: 69.61.184.xxx  Click here to reply  
Hi..
I am writing over a concern over my son considerable weight gain in his freshman year in collage. He has had weight issues through High School. But I was surprised when came home early because of the Covid and school closing. My ex wife says he told her he has gained about 80 pounds. she does not seem to be as concerned as I am. looking for any advice.
Reply from Tessa, Child's Age 14 - 05/24/20  - IP#: 100.15.215.xxx
I think this is hard. My sons are not at that age yet, but my husband (who I met as a 6'1 and 160lb senior in high school) went through something very similar in college (got up to just over 300lbs by graduation).
I think it is hard because kids are living indipendently for the first time while also often having access to however much food as they want. They want to eat four portions? They can, or if all they want is grilled cheese and fries three meals a day, well that is fine. Also, I know we all want to think of our kids as never touching a drop of alcohol until 21, that just isnt true and college is often the first time they have access to alcohol, which is just a bunch of empty calories. It is easy for a kid who may be tired of their parent's restrictions to just go wild and put on weight quickly. I know for my husband, who played football throughout high school, with lots of weight restriction, diet work, and activity, but wasn't good enough to play college level football, he suddenly didn't have to worry about any of that, so he just started pigging out.
Obviously I wish I had more advice, my husband was obviously not a success story and his weight has remained a serious issue for him (and now two of my sons as well), but I think at this point your son has to buy into any action plan you make. You can put him through diets and exercise for the next few months, but if he doesn't have the drive to continue the weight will likely just pile back on next semester when he is back out of the house.
My suggestion would be to talk to him about his goals for the future. My oldest son (16 YO) has been successfully losing weight for around 10 months and is just about at his goal weight (150lbs), and what really got him to own the process was that he knew he wanted to work in outdoor education as a grown up and that being overweight/unfit would be a barrier to that.
It doesn't have to be about a profession, it could be as simple as wanting an attractive girlfriend, or wanting to be able to play football on a club team with his friends, or whatever. It sounds to me that he needs motivation to lose weight.