From Maria, Child's Age 13 - 08/30/18 - IP#: 94.2.3.xxx Click here to reply
It’s been two years I think since I posted on here about my son David and his weight problem. I’ve no idea how active this board is, but I don’t have anyone in my life who can relate to my sadness about this, so hopefully others will see this and be able to empathise. David has literally been a fat boy his entire life. He was a short, 10lb baby at birth, and has pretty much remained that way ever since. I personally have never had issues with my weight, and nor has his dad or his siblings, so it’s been a contentious subject in our household to say the least. Fortunately though, since my last post, David has managed to lose almost 22lbs. Ok, in two years that doesn’t sound like so much, but trust me, for him it’s amazing. He has fought so hard to do this, cutting out all the chocolate and soft drinks he binged on and exercising with his brothers religiously. We’re really all so proud of him, but, it never stops does it 😢 It’s probably going to take him many more years to get anywhere close to being considered a healthy weight, but I’d stupidly thought that because he’d lost a noticeable amount, the kids at school would ease up on him. Did they though? Did they hell!!! If anything they doubled their efforts to torture him even more. I can’t even go into some of the things he’s been subjected to this year without bawling, and these are just the incidents I know about! He hides so much from me, just like he’s hid his binges for years. I really do feel that his comfort eating is as much a form of suicide as jumping off a bridge would be. The only difference is, it’s slower. There’s so much sadness in our kids, I can’t even. The school has been useless, and I’m dreading now that it’s all going to start again when he goes back. He’s worked his ass off this summer, but I’m terrified it’s all gonna be undone as soon as the bell rings. All his hard work could be sabotaged because of what?! Because he’s fat?!?! Honestly, anyone who reads this, I hope so much your children don’t suffer at the hands of others because of their size. It is so cruel and so hard to build up their self esteem from it. You can blame our kids for finding solace in a candy bar.
Reply from Janis, Child's Age 13 - 08/31/18 - IP#: 66.91.143.xxx Dear Maria, I'm so sorry to hear about what's been happening with your son David. My heart goes out to you and him. We had a similar problem last school year concerning my son Paul, who was bullied because of his weight and fought back and then was accused of being the aggressor. Our family finally had to hire a lawyer. It was worth it because the school had ignored me and our family but they sure listened when the lawyer mentioned "lawsuit". I ended up withdrawing Paul from public school. He was accepted to a private school (my family is helping pay his tuition) and he just started 8th grade. So far, so good. The problem is that my son Paul, unlike your son David, doesn't think he has a weight problem (he's 5'9" and weighs 268 pounds!). His new school is strong on sports and I'm hoping this will help Paul lose weight, but I'm not optimistic. He's the biggest boy on the 8th grade football team and he tells me the coaches want him to be bigger! But back to your son David: seriously, I would hire a lawyer to go with you and talk with school authorities. See if you can include parents of other fat/chubby kids who may be being bullied. Threaten to to go to the school board and the media (not that you would, but some of these "educators" need to realize they have a responsibility to all kids, not just the "cool", athletic, popular ones). Can I ask you a question: how did you persuade your son David to cut back on the food and actually lose a little weight? Nothing I've tried works with my son Paul. I really think he's proud to be so "big" (he started school this week wearing men's size 46 uniform shorts and I heard him tell his cousin he takes the biggest size of all the 8th grade boys!).