From Maggie, Child's Age 17 - 02/24/05 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
Hello everyone! My son, Jason is 17 years old. He is 6'1" and weighs 265 pounds. I would like to explain his life before I talk to you about his weight problem.I adopted Jason when he was 6 years old. His biological parents abused him and starved him. He has scars on his back from his biological father whipping him with a belt and a huge scar on his lower stomach area from where his biological mother stabbed him with a knife. The government finally took him from his parents and put him into foster care. I fostered J for about a year and then I adopted him. When Jason first came to my home, he was 6 years old weighed about 35 pounds. He was skin and bones and afraid of everything. The first few months J was with me, he shovled food down his throat, because he never knew when his next meal was coming. It took me about 2 years to open up and start enjoying life and being a kid. I that 2 years, he put on about 40 pounds. He was finally healthy. But then things started to change. His behavior abrupptly changed. We took him to the doctor and a physcologist. It turns out Jason has skitsophernia and suffers from severe depression. He also has ADD and BD. The physcologist says that Jason is using overeating as a defense mechinism, because of his past. Medacation has helped his behavior, and he is back to being happy. But the medaction also boosted his appetite. At 15, he wieghed 180 pounds, now at 17, he weighs 265 pounds. Jason doesn't seem to have a problem with being overweight, he has lots of friends and is always out having fun. So I haven't really been pushing him to stop overeating and maybe give up junk food, in fear of pushing him back into depression. He still goes to his pyschologist 2 times a week, and every once and a while she touchs his weight and possible diet plans. But he always tries to change the subject. He knows he's fat, he admits it. But he says it doesn't bother him. His gut is so big, he's got a nice flat chest, meaning no male breast development, just a big gut that hangs over his jeans. I'm going to try and take the junk food out of my house, but slowly so he doesn't really notice. But I have to try and motivate him to exercise. I was going to try to tell him the our computer "died" so I can get him off of games and the internet, but then he'll just go sit in front of the TV and play video games. Well, I hope I haven't bored you with my sons life story, but if anyone has any suggestions that could help me, I would apprieciate it. Thank you, Maggie.
Reply from amanda, Child's Age 14 - 05/02/05  - IP#:
wow that story is really touchin and parents also do foster care and we are trying to get legal custody of her...alot of the kids we have had so far got abused and raped

Reply from Maggie, Child's Age 17 - 03/26/05  - IP#:
Things haven't been going so well with Jason. I recently found out I am pregnant, which is exciting and great news for Ben and I, but after telling Jason, he exploded at me, accussing me of trying to get rid of him by having another child. He got so upset, he threw a chair accross the room and then he left and was gone for 3 days. My best guess was that he went and stayed with one of his friends that lives about an hour away from us, but I don't know. We had the police out looking for him for the 3 days he was gone. When he finally did come back, he apologized for exploding, gave me a hug, told me he was happy for me, and then went to bed. Since the day he came back, Jason has been very depressed and just all around unhappy. 2 nights ago, he went out to a party, and he didn't return until 4 a.m. And he was drunk as all hell...he reaked of beer and pot smoke. But he paid for it the next day, with a hangover that could have killed him.
I took Jason to a alcohol and drug abuse phsyciatrist and he admitted to have been drinking for the past month, but swore he has never smoked anything, not even a cigarrette. So now Jason is not leaving the house for a long time and is attending alcohol abuse therapy for the next 12 weeks.
Before any of this happened, we had thought more about getting Jason a puppy to give him some responsibility and he will have to take it for a walk. Jason has gained weight rather than lost it because he has been drinking, so now he weighs about 275lbs.
Is there anything I can do to get Jason to calm down again...I felt I have betrayed him or something because I am having a baby. I don't know what to do, this whole drinking thing has gotten me so upset, I love my son, I want him to be bac the way he was, without anymore medication.

Reply from Catherine, Child's Age 16 - 02/27/05  - IP#:
Hi maggie, I read your story, and it just broke my heart. You sound like such a good mother, you have really changed his life. I would suggest finding healthy receipes you can find them in a healthy cookbook or online. You could dish him up on a smaller plate, so it looks like he has alot on it. Maybe you could suggest going for a walk now and then, also a way for you guys to talk about how his life is going. It could bring you two even closer. I think that is a good idea, to slowly remove the junkfood, replace them with healthier foods, like fruits and vegetables, and maybe lowfat popcorn, when he feels like snacking. Even small changes can aid in weight loss.