Message Replying To

From vivian, Age 12

hi everyone.i'm 12yrs. old, 5ft 5 in., and i used to weigh 170 pounds. i've been struggling forever to lose it.I had alot of pressure from my mother who wanted to live her dream of being skinny again through me, and it's been really frustrating.It's been especially hard for me because my excess weight isn't alot in just one area, it's generous amounts allover, not huge but alot.it's the type of being overweight that makes you look older than you are, not more mature, but older.anyway you can't imagine how hard it has been trying to lose weight while also becoming involved in stuff like pageants,modeling,and acting where the pressure to be a perfect size 2 is everywhere.i've been doing ok for awhile until i got to this competition for modeling and acting that could lead to the IMTA compettition in california that has gotten jessica biel, katie holmes, elijah wood,brooke burns, and even ashton kutcher discovered.And thanks to my great luck the girl in front of me was also the girl who won 2nd place last year( she was number 2 out of 459), who was basically a toothpick& looked like a borderline anorexic.she also went to IMTA and got in the top 10 for our division the year before.so then it's my turn and i look at the judges as i say my lines and walk down the runway and they look at me like i'm this huge fat ugly pimple they want to pick at until it bursts and leaves them alone.that day not only did i lose i found out even the girl who forgot her lines completely got callbacks,i got none.i cried the rest of that day, and didin't eat anything until the next day when my mom forced me to eat dinner.since then my struggle to lose weight has intensified.and now in 2 wks i've lost 5 pounds. i know that doesn't sound like alot but if you understood all the junk i've been through about my weight i hope you would be happy for me to.i have 42 lbs left till my goal weight of 125 lbs, and i hope i get to it soon.I can see myself going back to that compettion (having lost all of that weight) just to rub it in their faces.