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From Allison, child's age 21

Hi all, I’ve written on here a few times about my daughter. When I first wrote here, it was 2014, and she was 300 pounds at age 16. Then i found out she was pregnant and things started to turn around. She lost weight, had her daughter and continued on that path. Eventually she was down to 170 pounds after my granddaughter was about a year and a half old. I was so proud. It’s amazing how many things you can do when you’re normal size. We were able to go to our first concert together( we had tried before but she couldn’t fit in the stadium seats, and she was too embarrassed to stay), we sat in booths at restaurants. We even took a trip to Disney which was filled with so many great firsts. She didn’t need two seats on the plane or a belt extender, and she was able to fit in rides with her daughter. She was thriving in high school because she was able to take the steps, participate in gym, and able to sit in an actual desk. Being a mom didn’t ostracize her- it really changed her for the better. Well my daughter is now 21, and things have changed again. When she was 18 she graduated, and moved about two hours away with her daughter to attend college. She was very busy with classes, working and being a parent, so we didn’t have a chance to see each other in person until she moved home for winter break. When she came in the door I was shocked. She had gown from being slim (probably down the 145 by the time she left for school) to being chubby again. When my daughter gains weight it goes to her chest,stomach and face first. She was spilling out of her bra, so the next day we went shopping for one. She went from a C to a DD. Her jeans didn’t for at all, so she was living in leggings. She said she didn’t want new pants because she was going to loose the weight. I was a little sad that she had regressed, but she promised next semester she would turn it around. She came home for summer, and I tried to cook healthy and be active, so I think she lost a little, but not as much as in the past. She went off again for the next semester, came home for thanksgiving, and was once a gaining ballooning in her weight. This time, it wasn’t just her, but my granddaughter too. She wasn’t the normal toddler chubby, it was more. I told her I was worried, and she brushed it off and said she could parent her own child. Well flash forward to now. My daughter is 21 years old, has graduated college, and her daughter is in school. In her graduation pictures, the gown in straining against her body. To me she looks even bigger than she was in high school. She came over last week, and when she got out of her car I was shocked. She has three chins, her cheeks are so puffy that her eyes are little slits. Her body is just big all over. Shirt was too tight, and her belly is huge again. I asked her how much she weighed,and she just said in a short answer that it was over 300 and she didn’t want to talk about it. She said she was really happy with her life right now, and her weight doesn’t define her. My granddaughter is also very large for her size. She’s wearing a xxl in the girls section, and even some styles in that size are too tight. She’s not even 6 years old yet. I had her step on the scale (i made it a game, i don’t want her to have a complex), and she was 94 pounds. She has a big belly that she’s constantly pulling her shirt down over, and it gets in the way when she plays. She can’t run fast, and when she’s playing with dolls, she has a hard time bending over around her stomach. I took her out shopping for new clothes, and she cried in the fitting room when I buttoned the little jean shorts because they were pulled over her belly and digging in. It was the biggest size the store had. She pulled them under her tummy and liked how they fit then. She honestly looks pregnant. I’ve never seen a child like her. When they were over, we went to my neighborhood pool,and I’m sad to say I was embarrassed. My granddaughter wore a cute one piece, but it still didn’t hide her size. My daughter wore a high waisted bikini,and I tried to talk her out of it. She had stretch marks, skin and fat hanging everywhere. Neighbors didn’t stop staring. Someone even asked if she was pregnant again, and I almost wish she was, but she’s not. I’m worried for them both. My daughter has never been this size. She’s wearing a g in her bra, a (tight) 4x in shirts, and I dont know what she’s wearing as her pants size. Anything stretchy really. My poor granddaughter has trouble breathing, walking and playing. She shouldn’t know a life where her stomach gets in the way of daily activities. She doesn’t even fit in her car seat properly anymore. I don’t know what to do or how to help. I feel like I failed them both again.