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Message Replying To
From Dinah, child's age 12
I've not read any examples quite like my son's, and I know they're out there. Maybe my post will get a response. My son is 5'7" and 175 lbs. He has been "off the chart" with his height and weight since he was a baby. He was an average baby at birth (7 lbs 11 oz); but at the very first check-up he took off and was probably in the 97% even then. :o) He is VERY athletic and participates in Baseball and Basketball. Folks have suggested he play football since he was very young, but by the time he was interested, he already weighed too much to play on the youth leagues in our area. He also wears a size 12 shoe, and it was suggested by the doctor that there's a good chance he will grow to be 6'4". If you distribute the 175 lbs over a 6'4" frame that might not be too bad, and I still keep thinking he's going to hit that growth spurt; but it's also obvious that he needs to lose some belly fat. We also think he's dealing with the disorder called gynocomastia; which only exaggerates the problem. He's not overly sensitive about his weight; he's aware of it. We've discussed it, but he is "somewhat" sensitve. Occasionally he will say "are you saying I'm fat" and he will get that hurt look on his face. Even if I just say, "you don't need to be eating that right now" or "you just ate!" ... I think I know everything we need to do. I'd have to have been living in a cave not to know that we need to buy healthier food and limit unhealthy ones. Limit TV, video game and computer time. Even though he's very active he still seems to find plenty of time to WATCH sports on the TV, too. :o) And he does play video games (almost all of them are team sports games (football, baseball, basketball...) You're porbably wondering what I'm asking then. :o) I suppose I'm looking for advice on the best way to remind him to make good choices, without alientating him. I would hope my son knows that I love him no matter what, but when he responds negatively to my reminders, I feel like he thinks I don't love him if I MENTION his weight. I KNOW he WANTS to be in better shape. It's one of those things where when he's OLDER he will be ANGRY at his parents for not "MAKING HIM" eat better and exercise. This is the first year in middle school that he is eleiglbe to participate in interscholasitc athleteics. He wants to try out fro the basketball team, but he's afraid of not making it. I know that's not unusual even for skinny kids, but I'm CERTAIN if he was in better shape his chances of making the team would improve and/or he would be less effected by not making the team. Regardless, getting in better shape is something that we need to work on NOW. I realize it will just get more difficult if we don't. Sorry this is so long, I'm having problems verbalizing exactly what sort of help I'm looking for. I think just suggestions for talking to my son or reminding him of what he REALLY wants without making him think it's THE most important thing; or that I love him less RIGHT NOW. Thanks.