I sounds to me like you have an eating disorder. The ways that you are choosing to loose weight are unhealthy and dangerous. At first when I read your post, I thought it was a joke. Please, if it isn't a joke, don't comtinue with these behaviors. There are other ways to loose weight. It isn't safe to do this. I know, I've been there. I would like to give you some advice on losing weight, but if you have such a negative self image to be doing this, than i don't want to do anything to help put you in more danger. If your post really is a joke, (which it seems like it is) please tell me and please tell me. Take care of yourself! :)