What a shame that you would waste your life in a pursuit of anorexia. This is not a career. I struggled for four years with the disorder, and I can tell you that it will not get you anywhere. I know it feels uncomfortable to gain weight, believe me. But you need to be smart here, and realize that your life as an anorexic will get you nowhere. You should find a passion, something you love that makes life worth living. Maybe then you will be able to let go of the obsessions that are keeping you from being a real human being.