Continued from Tyler, Age 14 - 12/18/04 - IP#:  bigbb-c34511

...Right now, I'm wearing a L undershirt (it's stretchy), a L pair of Boxer's (with my gut hanging over it), and an XL t-shirt (ahh, comfort)! Before we closed our pool, I would not go in it because I don't even want my family to see my gut! I would tell them that I'm fat and want to go on I diet, but I'm afraid. Today I wore a dress outfit(my dad's) a size 34/35 (the buttons were bulging) and a 34 inch waist pair of dress pants. I HATE GYM CLASS! I have it 2 hours a week, and I hate it when the teacher points me out and tells me to try harder. By the way, I'm in Boy Scouts, so you would think that I'm fit and trim from all those hikes. Well, you are wrong! Over half the boys in my troop are 180+. One of my best friends in on the Jr. High football team and is probably about 220. All the kids in my troop are proud of being fat!? WHY? I fell more comfortable with the fat kids than say with the basketball team. I am bigger than my dad! I am almost as big as my grandpa! My mom got new insurance, and we had to weigh ourselves, well I was at my gradma's and she was like "Here I'll come back and weigh you", and I was thinking O GOD!. I was embarred even telling my dad how much I weighed! This is all my thoughts and all this is coming out tonight. I have kept this to myself all this time. My best friend,(he's a senior) is real thin and trim(he's on the swim team), he would understand, and I think I'll tell him all this next time i see him. All these years I've never told anyone and now I'm telling strangers, although I fell I've known you for a long time just by reading your struggles and how much they compare with mine! I can't believe all the courage you guys have had. I really admire that! I know my parents love me but I don't know they will react! I HATE THE DOCTOR' OFFICE! I do not like being weighed at school either. You stand there waiting in line and then she calls you up on the scale, which is really embarrasing, and everyone else can see how much you weigh! Some of the kid's at school make fun of me, but I just laugh and shrug it off. I really don't think I eat to much because I rarely go to McDonald's. Really if anything, I hate McDonald's. Monday, we are having a Christmas party at Scout's and I going to order 1/2 of a pizza, but everyone else,(the 180+ people)was going to order a whole pizza, so I ordered a whole pizza all for myself!!! This is so great just to talk about this, something I've never done before, with people who undestand what I'm going through! I HATE EXERCISING! That is probably why I'm so darn fat. I look at obese people and I say to myself that I'll never look like that and that I'm never going to be that fat. Well, I'm starting to realize that I am one of those fat people who I thought I would never become! And how I was saying earlier about how I didn't like trying on pants, well I usually pull them up kind of high and it looks like you are thinner. It does this because it is making your fat stomach stay in instead of it bulging out of my pants. You can't see the fat when you wear a t-shirt. I always wear a t-shirt, because it kind of hides my rolls and you can't see them as much. I have as many rolls as a bakery! I had set a goal early this summer to be down to 175 by Christmas break, and 150 by the end of school, and between 135-155, to go back to school. Well as you see I'm oing a good job at getting to my goal, although I'm going the opposite way! Merry Chrismas and God bless you for all your courage!PLEASE RESPOND I NEED YOUR HELP! FAST!!!!!--TYLER P.S.- PLEASE RESPOND, I NEED ADVI