... Since i was only 6 years old i didn't know any better and i thought since that was my friend's dad he was nice and wouldn't do nothing bad. how was i suppose to know he wasent up to good? So i went into the room and he told me to lay down on the bed *cries* and i did.. i didnt know what he was doing.. and he pulled down my pants and underware and he started putting his discusting tounge on my **** and putting saliva on it too . *cries* and i was suprissed and scared i didnt know what to do. i didnt know if what he was doing was bad . i felt uncomftorble... and i closed my eyes wishing it was all over or my mom would come but no one came and the 2 girls just stared there looking at what their father was doing.. innocently. i wanted to scream and call my mom but i was to scared i didn't want my mom to get hurt so i just stayed quiet and thank goodness my mom called me i felt releived and he told me to put my pants up and he told me to not tell no one. and i put them up and i runned to my mom and i told her i wanted to leave. i felt like a piece of $hit. i didnt know what happend to me i was confuzed and very scared to tell my mom. But i finally did when my momtold me to not let no one touch my private parts and to tell her everything. I then noticed that he did that to me and that that was a bad thing so i told my mom after a week.. atfirst she didnt beleive me but then she did. but she never took me to no phycologist or anything . i think she didnt want people to know what happend... now i am 14 and i am depressed and fat . i used food as a confort to help me not remember what had happend and after 8 years i still remember every detail but i thank god that i didn't lose my v!rg!n!ty. But now i am a failure in life . I want to forget it. i smack myself to see if i can forget it but i cant. And i am so fat i weight 250 pounds i am miserable and i want to change my life but i think about it and i dont want to be skinny and nice because i am afraid i would get r@ped . i am scared of boys i think they all want to r@pe me . My mom took me to a phycologist after all these years because i stoped going to school. She doesnt know why . she doesnt know that i feel this way . I am seeying a therapist and i am homeschooled i hardly ever go outside . the longest ive been indoors is a month and i also am an only child with a and my mom has no job and i have no father because he and my mom seperated when i was just a baby because he used violence on my mom . i feel abandoned and like no one cares. I use my fatness as a shield so boys wont be interested in me i am scared i dont want to be like this my whole life i want to be normal and grow up and marry and have normal relashionships and have children no one helps me i havent even told my therapist about all this. You guys here reading this are that only one that know.. I just wanted to get it out of me. And to warn you moms out there to please tell ur children right at a young age to not let no one touch them and to scream and to tell you everything. Now that i have talked it out. goodbye ~ Amanda ~