Honey, when I read your cry for help, i could not do anything but feel your pain. I too used to feel the way you do. The first thing that I would like to tell you is that you have one advantage of being many pounds over weight. The more weight you have to lose, the faster you will lose it. Your body has to work harder to get rid of 200 pounds than it does to lose 20 pounds. If you can get on a small diet and exercise program for as little as a month, the results will keep you motivated. Trust me! Good luck!