Hey, a long time ago i used to be 165 too. Im 5'5' and currently wiegh 142lbs. First of all, hitting the gym for hours at a time is not realistic and u could hurt your body that way, 30min, to an hour is enough each day. I know how you feel about the guy, ive felt the same way too, but losing the weight is a gradual thing and can't be done quickly. I can tell u how im losing wieght, my goal is 125lbs. I eat healthy, no junk food, pizza, ice cream, or in between meal snacks. The food bar section of this website will help u out with what to eat. As for excercise Tae-Bo w/ Billy Blanks is the best! Every part of your body slims down, 30min to an hour everyday. I guarantee you that you will lose wieght this way. Don't try the lose wieght quick schemes because they DO NOT work, any of them. All they do is make u lose water wieght witch is very dangerous because u need that water, and it just leaves the fat.Your muscles start to wear away too. About this guy, its good u want to be healthy and lose wieght but do it for you, not for this guy. If he doesn't like u for who u are (i know it sounds corny but its true) and only judges girls by what they look like then girl, he's not worth it. You'll definetly see visual permanent results in 3months, you'll look and feel better, but u have to be patient, and be serious enough about it to do it for the long haul. hoped i could help, lata Seriously